A few months ago I broke. There was a ton of pressure, tons of stress, and just one of me. And I broke.
Instead of stepping into God and giving it all over to him, I broke. I let all of the things that I had been bottling up inside, and all the feelings of hurt, and all of the craziness explode. While it felt sooooo very good to let all of that out there was much more healing that needed to be done than to just verbalize my inner struggles.
Many of you reached out to me to tell me, “Yes! I know what you are talking about!” and I felt happy that someone else could relate to the insane expectations that, ultimately, I had given myself. Many of you reached out to me to say, “I hope I’m not the reason you are unhappy.” and I felt sad because it wasn’t any of you. I love every single one of you!
For weeks, I never even got on my computer after posting that heart wrenching status. Everything I worked on was strictly on my phone. I could feel the waves of stress overwhelm me when I would try to start a project or simply answering an email. In the last couple of weeks I have realized that maybe I could have handled my Brittany-esqe break down with a little more grace. I was in desperate need of rest and a little Jesus.
A few days ago I listened to my favorite old school Christian jams when Newsboys’ “Million Pieces” came on and even though it is an upbeat, shake a finger in the car kind of song, the lyrics were hitting home wayyyyy too hard.
I was holding onto grudges. ALL of them and it was draining me of joy and contentment. THEN I showed them to the whole world. Not pretty, so not pretty. Now.. I’ve given them up. I’m back at work doing what I am so very passionate about! I’m back with fresh eyes, projects on the horizon, and JOY!
Did someone say projects? Yes! I will be working on one in the next couple of weeks. I have a couple of new offerings that will be coming soon, AND Spring Minis!!!! Creatives, mom’s, business owners, and brides – Yes, I am booking! They are exclusive sessions and dates, so contact me above for info and to hold your spot. 🙂